Sometimes the story beings when we were children. Tender and naive. We came into this world with a sense of wonder and possibility. As for me, I barged into this world with an additional sense of wilderness and insatiable curiosity, perhaps not so different than most kids.
Looking back, my mother (separated with my father) did the best that she could. But that still meant a mounting measure of physical and emotional abuse which led to a mounting measure of mental instability on me. At sixteen years old it exploded into actual diagnosis of depression and eating disorder, followed by substances abuse into my mid twenties. At which time although existing in society as a "functional" human being, I was very lost.
But don't worry, a pivoting point orccured. It came with the birth of my son. I learned, slowly, to live with the rhythm of nature, of this body.
I began relearning feelings and emotions. I began relearning healthy habits and unlearning the not-so-healthy ones, and finding the balance in between (hint: it's always fluctuating). Along the way I remembered who I am, even it's only snippets at a time. I remembered how cooking and movement bring me so much joy, I discovered how working on and with the land sparked so much fulfillment in my heart, and I realized the importance of healing in community. Along the way I have come to appreciate the beauty in light and in darkness. And along the way I remembered my purpose of being in service through offering my own gifts, just as others have offered theirs to me on my way.
This thing of (re)discovery is an ongoing business. It is true when they say "the more you know the more you don't know." I continue to be fascinated by what this life has to offer or perhaps, what we have to offer to life, and in relationship with it, how we can live and die well.
So here I am. It's my wish that all of us can unlearn the things that are standing in the way of us living our best lives, and learn the skills to rediscover our beautiful unique selves. The path is non-linear, it is hard work that we are embarking on, and even though the view may not always be spectacular, it will always make our journey that much more meaningful.
Thank you for allowing me to be part of your re-membering journey.
with love, Sway
Why I teach & Why I learn
